Agony over not having a feeling of God's presence, so many temptations to lay down arms, to turn away from Christ. I cannot do it. He has the words of eternal life. He is the Joy that is evermore at the right hand of God. I love Him - how can I leave Him? And yet, as I say that, there are a thousand voices ready to tempt me to do just that. My wicked heart would deify every blessing that God gives me, loving the blessings and not the Blesser. How easy that is to see, illustrated by my own Christmas experiences as a child. The givers, my parents or brothers and sisters, were only my channels to getting what I wanted. Sure, I would thank them, if reminded that I needed to do so, but I was not truly thankful to them, or for them. I loved the toys, but not the people who gave them to me. And now, how easy it is to love the pleasures of life without loving the One who gives the pleasures as well as the capacity for enjoying them. How easy it is to say that it is this or that situation that will give me true joy, when even the joy of the most desirable situation would not be there if God did not add it into the mix. Food would taste like cardboard if God did not give it the flavor and me the taste buds to enjoy it. And not only as a process, but every time. He is in everything, making it work the way it is supposed to every time, or it wouldn't. There are no natural processes, truly. God is a God of order, and He continues to bless things to work the way that they always have, but still, it is His hand in it each time it occurs that makes it happen the way it has always happened, and we have the illusion of processes and cause and effect. But nothing can keep going unless He keeps it going. And He is keeping everything going, every moment of every day - there is not one thing that works by itself, or even by processes that He has set up and left to run on their own. There can be no such thing, for if God leaves anything to itself, it would cease to exist immediately. It did not exist before He made it, and it shall not continue without being upheld constantly by the word of His power.
So, anything that I look to for a pleasure that it has given in the past is not able to give me that pleasure unless God wills that it be so, each time I engage in the thing. If I enjoy a particular song, and am thrilled with the music and the lyrics, I cannot look to that song as the ultimate giver of the pleasure, but to God who has given me the pleasure through that song. There are pleasures in reading the Bible, but a Scripture that brought me joy and comfort at one time might not do so at another, because I am seeking the experience, rather than God Himself. So, I could even make an idol out of the Word of God. And I do.
And there are other voices that draw me away in doubt and fear, that make me question the reality of it all - whether any of it is true. I must cling to Christ, for He is the only One in whom I have found peace and true joy. All else has failed me, and continues to fail. So, I hear Him say to me again "Come unto Me, all ye that labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, for I am meek and lowly in heart, and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."
Tuesday, December 21, 2010
Saturday, October 2, 2010
I Have Seen the Lord!
Here is a great sermon from John Piper of the same title as this blog entry.
By the way, it has been a coon's age since I have been here. Anybody still out there?
If you merely read Piper's sermons you don't get nearly the same effect as you will if you watch the video. If Spurgeon were living now, I would certainly watch videos of his sermons rather than just reading them. There is something about hearing and seeing that makes a greater impact on the heart than merely reading. Try it. You will never want to simply read Piper's sermons again.
If you don't know Piper at all, you will be greatly encourage by his preaching. I highly recommend him.
By the way, it has been a coon's age since I have been here. Anybody still out there?
If you merely read Piper's sermons you don't get nearly the same effect as you will if you watch the video. If Spurgeon were living now, I would certainly watch videos of his sermons rather than just reading them. There is something about hearing and seeing that makes a greater impact on the heart than merely reading. Try it. You will never want to simply read Piper's sermons again.
If you don't know Piper at all, you will be greatly encourage by his preaching. I highly recommend him.
Thursday, April 15, 2010
Deserted
They say that God doesn't leave His people, that He is always with them. They say that if there are any problems, it is simply with your perception, because God has not moved. So, it is always this: if I push the right buttons I can overcome, and go on my way rejoicing.
No. It has never been that way. God is sovereign, and He is not at my beck and call, I am to be at His. I might do everything right, as far as anyone can tell, and still feel the emptiness of walking without Him, the dryness of the desert of no communion. Everything loses its flavor: every joy is forced, every laugh is hollow, every song (if I can sing at all) is in a minor key, for He is not there. And if you tell me that it is just my perception, I say "What's the difference?" It is hell to be without God, really, or even when it just feels like you are without God. It is all the same thing according to my perception. What is it to me that God is still there, if I cannot hear His voice? How can I derive any comfort from a present Saviour, if He does not make His presence known, if I cannot know His grace and peace filling my soul? What good is it to me that my Father is home, if I cannot go climb up into His lap, and feel His strong arm holding me tight, pulling me close? You may live far off from Him if you can, but I cannot. I don't like it when I cannot find Him anywhere. Just your telling me that He is always there, when I cannot get to Him, provides me no comfort. Oh, that I knew where I might find Him!
I see shadows, glimpses of Him out of the corner of the eye, but that is not enough. I need Him. I am thirsty, and none of these broken cisterns have any water. I am hungry, and tired of trading my money for that which is not bread. My soul thirsts for God. When shall I come and appear before God!
How long, O Lord? How long wilt Thou forget me? Forever?
No. It has never been that way. God is sovereign, and He is not at my beck and call, I am to be at His. I might do everything right, as far as anyone can tell, and still feel the emptiness of walking without Him, the dryness of the desert of no communion. Everything loses its flavor: every joy is forced, every laugh is hollow, every song (if I can sing at all) is in a minor key, for He is not there. And if you tell me that it is just my perception, I say "What's the difference?" It is hell to be without God, really, or even when it just feels like you are without God. It is all the same thing according to my perception. What is it to me that God is still there, if I cannot hear His voice? How can I derive any comfort from a present Saviour, if He does not make His presence known, if I cannot know His grace and peace filling my soul? What good is it to me that my Father is home, if I cannot go climb up into His lap, and feel His strong arm holding me tight, pulling me close? You may live far off from Him if you can, but I cannot. I don't like it when I cannot find Him anywhere. Just your telling me that He is always there, when I cannot get to Him, provides me no comfort. Oh, that I knew where I might find Him!
I see shadows, glimpses of Him out of the corner of the eye, but that is not enough. I need Him. I am thirsty, and none of these broken cisterns have any water. I am hungry, and tired of trading my money for that which is not bread. My soul thirsts for God. When shall I come and appear before God!
How long, O Lord? How long wilt Thou forget me? Forever?
Saturday, April 10, 2010
Monday, March 15, 2010
What Sin Is
In reading the book of Joshua again, I have been struck once again with the seeming severity of judgment upon Achan and his family for his transgression. The punishment has seemed to me to be over and above what was merited, because of the shocking nature of it. However, this time, I have asked the Lord to help me to understand. I believe that He has.
When Satan tempted Eve, he promised her that she and Adam would "be as gods, knowing good and evil." I have not thought as much about that as I have recently, and as I should have, for that is the place where we see the beginning of sin in man. Why do all die in Adam? What was the enormity of a transgression that consisted in eating a piece of fruit? Just a piece of fruit. Well, if it was just the piece of fruit that makes up the totality of the transgression, it might be justifiable to say that the punishment overreaches the crime. A piece of fruit, however, was merely the battleground. Many injunctions of Scripture call for obedience in matters seemingly as trivial as a piece of fruit.
The fruit itself is almost immaterial in the whole matter of Adam's sin. The nature of sin is not in the size of the matter, nor in the obvious deed itself, but in the heart of the man who perpetrates the sin. This is not to say that one thing that is called sin in one case, might not be called so in another. There are arguments for such a statement, and evidence that can be produced to substantiate such claims, but I am not entering into that aspect of the matter at this time. What I am saying is that sin, with respect to its severity, is not in the act itself, but in the heart. So, what was in Achan's heart? What was in Adam's heart? What is in my heart, when I sin?
So, Satan said: "ye shall be as gods, knowing good and evil." What does that mean, knowing good and evil? And how does that make us like gods? The answer is, perhaps obvious to everyone reading this, but it was good for me to see it so clearly. If I can choose what I want to do, deciding for myself what is right and wrong (good and evil), then, in effect, I am taking the place of God. What power! Simply by throwing out God and His ways, His authorities (the Bible, parental authority, governmental authority, etc.), I can have absolute power over my own affairs! I can be all I can be, I can run my own life! I can do it my way! After all, I am God!
Such a manner of thinking was at the heart of Satan's temptation. "You don't have to do what God says, even though He is your Creator. You are an independent, autonomous being. You decide. Follow your heart. If it feels good, do it!"
The only problem with such an outlook on life is this: It was not Adam's call to decide to eat the fruit. God had already made that call, and Adam's deliberate disobedience was an "in-your-face" rejection of God Himself. Achan did the same thing. Satan's "I will be like the Most High" became the fight song of mankind. We have taken it up, even from the womb. That cry of independence. I am God. I have a right. I can choose for myself. "Sure, Satan. I'll be as God. What do I have to lose? After all, fruit is good for me!"
So, the few things Achan took were not the problem. Nor was it a piece of fruit for Adam and Eve. Nor is it just whatever the little thing is in which we love to have our way. It is the rebellion in our hearts. It is our desire to dethrone God, and set ourselves in His place. As our Creator, He has the right to do whatever He wills with His own. As His creatures, we don't have that right.
Our carrying out of this same scenario of sin is a daily event. The only reason God doesn't kill us for it is because of the cross of Christ. The garments of rebellion do not look any prettier upon us than they did upon Adam, or Achan . . . or Satan. As Christians, we are even more culpable, because we know a little about the price that was paid on that cross, by a God who so loved the world . . . And how can we even claim to know Him, when we abide one moment with rebellion to any of His commands in our hearts ? Even the smallest infractions involve the same sin: "I will decide what is right and wrong. I know what is good and evil. I am God." The commands of Christ do not stretch. His rules do not bend. We know that we are His because we keep His commandments, and those commandments are not grievous to us. We would rather have God's way than our own in the matter, if we truly love Christ.
I am not so concerned about Achan anymore. He deserved more than what he got. But so do I. I run to the cross of Christ for refuge. I am ashamed. How dare I assert my rights to do anything, or be anything for the sake of my own understanding. I don't want to be God. I don't want to go my own way. But I can still hear that hiss of the serpent: "Ye shall be as gods." Lord Jesus, come quickly, and make all things new.
When Satan tempted Eve, he promised her that she and Adam would "be as gods, knowing good and evil." I have not thought as much about that as I have recently, and as I should have, for that is the place where we see the beginning of sin in man. Why do all die in Adam? What was the enormity of a transgression that consisted in eating a piece of fruit? Just a piece of fruit. Well, if it was just the piece of fruit that makes up the totality of the transgression, it might be justifiable to say that the punishment overreaches the crime. A piece of fruit, however, was merely the battleground. Many injunctions of Scripture call for obedience in matters seemingly as trivial as a piece of fruit.
The fruit itself is almost immaterial in the whole matter of Adam's sin. The nature of sin is not in the size of the matter, nor in the obvious deed itself, but in the heart of the man who perpetrates the sin. This is not to say that one thing that is called sin in one case, might not be called so in another. There are arguments for such a statement, and evidence that can be produced to substantiate such claims, but I am not entering into that aspect of the matter at this time. What I am saying is that sin, with respect to its severity, is not in the act itself, but in the heart. So, what was in Achan's heart? What was in Adam's heart? What is in my heart, when I sin?
So, Satan said: "ye shall be as gods, knowing good and evil." What does that mean, knowing good and evil? And how does that make us like gods? The answer is, perhaps obvious to everyone reading this, but it was good for me to see it so clearly. If I can choose what I want to do, deciding for myself what is right and wrong (good and evil), then, in effect, I am taking the place of God. What power! Simply by throwing out God and His ways, His authorities (the Bible, parental authority, governmental authority, etc.), I can have absolute power over my own affairs! I can be all I can be, I can run my own life! I can do it my way! After all, I am God!
Such a manner of thinking was at the heart of Satan's temptation. "You don't have to do what God says, even though He is your Creator. You are an independent, autonomous being. You decide. Follow your heart. If it feels good, do it!"
The only problem with such an outlook on life is this: It was not Adam's call to decide to eat the fruit. God had already made that call, and Adam's deliberate disobedience was an "in-your-face" rejection of God Himself. Achan did the same thing. Satan's "I will be like the Most High" became the fight song of mankind. We have taken it up, even from the womb. That cry of independence. I am God. I have a right. I can choose for myself. "Sure, Satan. I'll be as God. What do I have to lose? After all, fruit is good for me!"
So, the few things Achan took were not the problem. Nor was it a piece of fruit for Adam and Eve. Nor is it just whatever the little thing is in which we love to have our way. It is the rebellion in our hearts. It is our desire to dethrone God, and set ourselves in His place. As our Creator, He has the right to do whatever He wills with His own. As His creatures, we don't have that right.
Our carrying out of this same scenario of sin is a daily event. The only reason God doesn't kill us for it is because of the cross of Christ. The garments of rebellion do not look any prettier upon us than they did upon Adam, or Achan . . . or Satan. As Christians, we are even more culpable, because we know a little about the price that was paid on that cross, by a God who so loved the world . . . And how can we even claim to know Him, when we abide one moment with rebellion to any of His commands in our hearts ? Even the smallest infractions involve the same sin: "I will decide what is right and wrong. I know what is good and evil. I am God." The commands of Christ do not stretch. His rules do not bend. We know that we are His because we keep His commandments, and those commandments are not grievous to us. We would rather have God's way than our own in the matter, if we truly love Christ.
I am not so concerned about Achan anymore. He deserved more than what he got. But so do I. I run to the cross of Christ for refuge. I am ashamed. How dare I assert my rights to do anything, or be anything for the sake of my own understanding. I don't want to be God. I don't want to go my own way. But I can still hear that hiss of the serpent: "Ye shall be as gods." Lord Jesus, come quickly, and make all things new.
Thursday, January 7, 2010
My Life Work
"That I may know Him, and the power of His resurrection, and the fellowship of His sufferings, being made conformable unto His death." - Philippians 3:10
While it is so hard to raise my mind to much contemplation of Christ, to profitable thoughts about Him, to an admiration of Him as He is portrayed in the Scriptures, and to that view of glory that transforms me into His image, yet by God's grace, and only that way, I shall fight every day to get that view of Him - a view my soul needs so desperately that there is nothing else it needs beside. I cannot even really know what that means "That I may know Him," because such a knowledge, while not too high (at least the beginnings of it, for the encouragement of everyone who has a desire for it), yet it ends in Heaven, it finds its fulness there, and the Scripture itself says that we know not what we shall be, but when we see Him, we shall be like Him, for we shall see Him as He is. I only can know in part here, but when I see Him, I shall lay aside childish things for as full a revelation of Christ's beauty as God shall be pleased to give me for my everlasting blessedness and satisfaction. My goal then, or my life's work, is to know as much of Him as possible in this life, because if it is my happiness in eternity to behold Him in His glory, it must be no small portion of the happiness of this life to behold His glory as I am able. This glory of Christ is His beauty, His awesomeness, His majesty and everything about Him that attracts. And the true view of it is only found in the Scriptures, for they testify of Him, and set Him forth - they present Him as our beautiful Saviour. So, I shall be a student of the Word of God, for that purpose only, that I may know Him, that I may, through the Word, see the Sun of Righteousness, and look on His face who is altogether lovely. It is, as I said, so difficult to raise my thoughts to this great object, but I must do it, and if you read this, pray for me this prayer, and others like it:
That the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of glory, may give unto you the spirit of wisdom and revelation in the knowledge of him:
The eyes of your understanding being enlightened; that ye may know what is the hope of his calling, and what the riches of the glory of his inheritance in the saints,
And what is the exceeding greatness of his power to us-ward who believe, according to the working of his mighty power.
While it is so hard to raise my mind to much contemplation of Christ, to profitable thoughts about Him, to an admiration of Him as He is portrayed in the Scriptures, and to that view of glory that transforms me into His image, yet by God's grace, and only that way, I shall fight every day to get that view of Him - a view my soul needs so desperately that there is nothing else it needs beside. I cannot even really know what that means "That I may know Him," because such a knowledge, while not too high (at least the beginnings of it, for the encouragement of everyone who has a desire for it), yet it ends in Heaven, it finds its fulness there, and the Scripture itself says that we know not what we shall be, but when we see Him, we shall be like Him, for we shall see Him as He is. I only can know in part here, but when I see Him, I shall lay aside childish things for as full a revelation of Christ's beauty as God shall be pleased to give me for my everlasting blessedness and satisfaction. My goal then, or my life's work, is to know as much of Him as possible in this life, because if it is my happiness in eternity to behold Him in His glory, it must be no small portion of the happiness of this life to behold His glory as I am able. This glory of Christ is His beauty, His awesomeness, His majesty and everything about Him that attracts. And the true view of it is only found in the Scriptures, for they testify of Him, and set Him forth - they present Him as our beautiful Saviour. So, I shall be a student of the Word of God, for that purpose only, that I may know Him, that I may, through the Word, see the Sun of Righteousness, and look on His face who is altogether lovely. It is, as I said, so difficult to raise my thoughts to this great object, but I must do it, and if you read this, pray for me this prayer, and others like it:
That the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of glory, may give unto you the spirit of wisdom and revelation in the knowledge of him:
The eyes of your understanding being enlightened; that ye may know what is the hope of his calling, and what the riches of the glory of his inheritance in the saints,
And what is the exceeding greatness of his power to us-ward who believe, according to the working of his mighty power.
Saturday, December 5, 2009
Test Your Faith
Here is John Owen again. This section is taken from Christologia, chapter XIX, on http://www.ccel.org/.
The glory of heaven consists in the full manifestation of divine wisdom, goodness, grace, holiness, — of all the properties of the nature of God in Christ. In the clear perception and constant contemplation hereof consists no small part of eternal blessedness. What, then, are our present thoughts of these things? What joy, what satisfaction have we in the sight of them, which we have by faith through divine revelation? What is our desire to come unto the perfect comprehension of them? How do we like this heaven? What do we find in ourselves that will be eternally satisfied hereby? According as our desires are after them, such and no other are our desires of the true heaven, — of the residence of blessedness and glory. Neither will God bring us unto heaven whether we will or no. If, through the ignorance and darkness of our minds, — if, through the earthliness and sensuality of our affections, — if, through a fulness of the world, and the occasions of it, — if, by the love of life and our present enjoyments, we are strangers unto these things, we are not conversant about them, we long not after them, — we are not in the way towards their enjoyment. The present satisfaction we receive in them by faith, is the best evidence we have of an indefeasible interest in them. How foolish is it to lose the first fruits of these things in our own souls, — those entrances into blessedness which the contemplation of them through faith would open unto us, — and hazard our everlasting enjoyment of them by an eager pursuit of an interest in perishing things here below! This, this is that which ruins the souls of most, and keeps the faith of many at so low an ebb, that it is hard to discover any genuine working of it.
The glory of heaven consists in the full manifestation of divine wisdom, goodness, grace, holiness, — of all the properties of the nature of God in Christ. In the clear perception and constant contemplation hereof consists no small part of eternal blessedness. What, then, are our present thoughts of these things? What joy, what satisfaction have we in the sight of them, which we have by faith through divine revelation? What is our desire to come unto the perfect comprehension of them? How do we like this heaven? What do we find in ourselves that will be eternally satisfied hereby? According as our desires are after them, such and no other are our desires of the true heaven, — of the residence of blessedness and glory. Neither will God bring us unto heaven whether we will or no. If, through the ignorance and darkness of our minds, — if, through the earthliness and sensuality of our affections, — if, through a fulness of the world, and the occasions of it, — if, by the love of life and our present enjoyments, we are strangers unto these things, we are not conversant about them, we long not after them, — we are not in the way towards their enjoyment. The present satisfaction we receive in them by faith, is the best evidence we have of an indefeasible interest in them. How foolish is it to lose the first fruits of these things in our own souls, — those entrances into blessedness which the contemplation of them through faith would open unto us, — and hazard our everlasting enjoyment of them by an eager pursuit of an interest in perishing things here below! This, this is that which ruins the souls of most, and keeps the faith of many at so low an ebb, that it is hard to discover any genuine working of it.
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